Have you ever wondered what causes great leaders to fall? As a leader you know how hard you have to work to succeed, and you can only imagine the sacrifices these great leaders had to make to hold the level of leadership they do. Then in one weak moment everything they have worked for comes crashing down and their reputation is marked for a long time to come. When a leader makes a bad choice, their character and integrity is tarnished and they have to work twice as hard and sacrifice twice as much if they ever want to gain respect or hold a leadership position again. It makes you wonder what could have possessed them to make such a devastating mistake in the first place. Many times it’s because they overlooked the power of “SELF”.

It is very clear that if you are not sober – self-denying and self disciplined and vigilant - attentive, observant and on your guard he will probably succeed over a period of time. But if you are able to develop self control, on a daily basis, in the small areas of your life, you will be able to stand strong and walk in self control no matter what temptation you may face.

When I was a little girl I was in a musical drama called “The Music Machine” and one of the songs we sang was called “self-control”. The words went something like this:

“Self control
Is just controlling myself
It’s listening to my heart
And doing what is smart
Self control
It’s the very best way to go
So I think that I’ll control myself.”

Sounds so easy when you put it to music but it isn’t as easy to apply in every day life. None of us really like to hear the words “self control” because controlling self usually involves saying no something you really want, and that can be very hard to do.

The Bible talks about controlling your flesh, your actions, your thoughts, and your tongue. If you don’t work on this area of your life it will be impossible to become a successful leader and continue to maintain good character and walk in integrity. So how do you do that?

Being the opinionated person that I am it is very easy for me to speak my mind or try to give people advice, even when they don’t ask for it (I know this is hard to believe…but it’s true). So it is obvious that one of my areas of weakness is controlling my tongue. Over the years I have learned how to develop self control in this area. This has not been an easy task! There are many times when I want to speak my mind, and the person I need to speak to really needs to, or deserves to, hear what I have to say. But as I’m opening my mouth, my heart tells me to be quiet because God’s timing, and the attitude of my heart, is just as important as them needing to hear what I want to tell them. It takes every ounce of self control I have to hold my tongue at that moment. If I am not in a habit of disciplining my body everyday, I give my mouth free rein at that moment. I have learned that a word spoken out of season only makes the situation worse and what was said cannot be taken back. I have also discovered that a word spoken in due season can be very encouraging to the person and brings life. It also makes life much more peaceful when you don’t always have to have the last say. 

In her tape series “Fruits of the Spirit”, Joyce Meyers teaches that without self control it is impossible to develop any of the other fruits of the spirit in your life. Yet many leaders never learn to discipline their body because they have not developed self-control. Because of this they disqualify themselves from the race, just as it states in  1 Corinthians 9:27.

If we ever want to reach our full potential as leaders, and be able to stand strong and endure, we will need to develop self control in our lives. This must be a daily endeavor. We have to also be honest with ourselves, admit where we are weak, build our defenses, and learn how to walk in self control. The more control you have over your flesh in every area of your life, but especially your areas of weakness, the stronger you will become when faced with temptation. 

The other area that most leaders struggle with is self-confidence.

There was a time in my ministry when I took the position of children’s pastor at a small church. I went in blazing guns and very confident in my abilities. In two to three years, attendance doubled in children’s ministry and we had the best looking (thanks to my husband’s artistic abilities), most organized, smoothest running children’s ministry in our area. I was very proud of what I had accomplished.  People would tell me what a wonderful job I was doing and how great the children’s ministry was. It really made me feel good that I had impressed them and proven how good I was at what I did, that should have been my first clue! The only problem I faced was that I was doing it all myself, and burning out fast.  My family was not very impressed with me, I was not enjoying what I was doing, I had no leaders to share the responsibilities with, and no one was beating my door down to apply for the position. In the end I watched all my accomplishments come burning down all around me and found myself sitting in ashes.  That’s when I finally cried out to God and He showed me that I had spent the last few years telling Him (and everyone else) what my plans were and expecting Him to bless them.

Philippians 1:6 says:

Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

The key to this verse is that we are to be confident in the work HE has begun in us, not in what WE can do on our own. Have you ever heard the phrase “Except God builds a house they labor in vain that build it”? I experienced this principle the hard way. I was so busy focusing on building what I wanted and what I could accomplish that I didn’t take the time to listen to what He wanted.  I could probably count on one hand the times I asked Him if what I wanted to do was what He wanted, and it was very rare that I would ask for His wisdom, anointing, and strength.  I learned that sometimes God will LET us do things that He has not LED us to do.

As leaders we must never forget that, no matter how good we are at what we do, we will never be better at it than God is. But so many times we become so confident in our abilities that we forget to give God full control, get His advice, and rely on His wisdom, anointing and strength. Today when people praise the accomplishments in my life my first thought is “It has to be God because I could never have brought myself to the place I am today or have done these things on my own.” I am constantly amazed at what He is able to accomplish in us when we get our egos and agenda out of the way, and give Him full control. Now before you get the idea that I am some kind of Saint, I have to confess that there are still times I want to take back control and times I would like to take all of the credit. But then I remember what it’s like to sit in ashes, and I quickly give the controls and direct the praise and attention back to Him. I’d much rather have the joy, peace, and anointing.

I’ll leave you with this thought:

Some of the biggest battles you will face as a leader will be the ones you fight with your “self”. I have found the only way to win these battles is to make sure you stay sober and vigilant (1 Peter 5:8, 9). If you find that there are areas in your life where you have overlooked your “self” there is no better time to start correcting that than today, and no better place to start than in His presence. He will give you instructions from there. And if you need a fellow leader, who understands what you are facing, to agree with you and encourage you, you know where you can reach me.